Baby Crying

Overview

As a parent or carer, it can be hard to hear your baby cry. We know that it's a normal part of their development, but it can still be upsetting.  

Crying is a sign that your baby needs something. It’s one of the ways your baby communicates with you. Crying often comes after they give you little ‘cues’ or signs that they need something. Cues might be:

• Small body movements, 
• Different sounding noises like a babble, grizzle, or grumble,
• Facial expressions.  

Have you heard the terms ‘Colic’ or ‘Purple Crying’ before? Some People use these words to describe times when babies regularly cry a lot. There is no clear physical or medical reason for the crying and your baby might be hard to settle. The periods of long crying might start when babies are 2-3 weeks old and can last until they're 3-4 months. It is very common for babies to cry in the afternoon or evening. Sometimes it feels like nothing will settle them. It can be very hard, for both babies and parents! The good news is that this can be normal, age-appropriate behaviour for babies. The crying will often resolve, without medical treatment, after a few weeks. 

In the early days, your baby might have lots of long crying spells. But as you get to know each other, you'll start to understand what your baby needs. It's important to always comfort your crying baby. This builds trust and makes your little one feel safe and secure. The best thing you can do to help your baby, is to be present and respond to your baby’s cues. Although you may not be able to stop the crying, your presence and support can help your baby when they are feeling so upset. If being with your crying baby is hard for you, please see your child and family health professional for support.

Reasons baby might cry

Feeling hungry 

Babies need to eat every few hours, and crying is their way of telling you they're hungry. Newborns might cry every 1.5-3 hours for a feed, while older babies can go a little longer between meals. 

Overtired 

Being overtired can make it hard for your baby to fall asleep, so they might cry. This can happen if they've been awake too long or missed a nap. 

Feeling uncomfortable 

Babies might cry if their nappy is wet or dirty, if they're too hot or cold, or if their clothes are bothering them. A quick check and fixing these issues can help soothe your little one. 

Wanting a cuddle 

Sometimes, your baby just wants someone to hold them. A gentle cuddle can often soothe their cries and make them feel safe and secure. Cuddling your baby will not ‘spoil' them or make them ‘clingy’

Wanting a change of activity 

Babies can get bored and may cry to let you know they need a change of scenery or some gentle playtime. Try showing them a new toy, singing a song, or taking them to a different room. 

Needing to suck 

Some babies find comfort in sucking, even when they're not hungry. Try offering a feed first, but if your baby is feeding well, and has used a dummy before, you could try offering a dummy again. 

Startled by loud noises 

Babies have a reflex that can make them cry if they hear a loud noise. This startle reflex usually goes away around 3-4 months. 

Teething pain 

When babies are teething, they might cry because it hurts and feels uncomfortable. Teething usually starts around 6 months but can happen earlier or later. 

Being unwell

Babies might also cry because they're sick. If your little one is crying a lot or can't be soothed, it's best to see a doctor to rule out any health issues.

Understanding baby cues

Babies try to communicate in lots of different ways, such as through movements, facial expressions, sounds and cries. Learning the ways your baby is trying to communicate can help you respond better when your baby is upset. As your baby grows and develops, you’ll come to understand the meaning of each type of gesture or cry. Here are some common reasons for crying and what they might be telling you:

Hunger cues

Young babies who are hungry may: 

• Root around (turn their head and open their mouth like they're looking for a nipple), 
• Smack their lips, 
• Make sucking motions on their tongue or hand. Their cry might start soft and get louder and more intense, if baby isn't fed as quickly as they want. This doesn’t mean you should rush to feed them. Try and calm them first, look for the early feeding cues and then offer the feed.

Tired cues 

Sleepy babies might cry in short bursts at first, but their cry might become louder and longer, if they can’t fall asleep. For young babies you might see your baby clench their fists, yawn, have jerky movements or frown. In older babies you might see, along with a cry, they might yawn, rub their eyes, tug on their ears or become easily distracted

Pain cues 

A pain cry is usually sudden, loud, and high-pitched. Your baby might also pull their legs up to their tummy and scrunch up their face. This type of cry could mean they're hurting from gas, reflux, or an injury. 

Overstimulated cues 

An overstimulated baby might cry in a way that sounds frantic or hysterical. This can happen if there's too much noise, action, or stimulation for baby to handle. They might turn their head away, shut their eyes, or get fussy. 

It takes time to recognise each type of cry, but it can help you better meet your baby's needs. Remember, babies might cry for lots of reasons, so it could take some trial and error to figure out what's wrong and how to soothe them. Always try to calm your baby first, then try to read their cues and think about what need they are trying to communicate and respond with warmth and care.  

Soothing Tips

If baby is very upset, and the crying is becoming louder and longer, try and soothe baby. Take some deep breaths, showing baby how to calm as you calm yourself. Once calm, take notice of your baby’s movements or gestures, their cues can help you decide what they need.  Using the following tips to guide you, see how they respond. They will let you know if you guessed right! 

Create a calm environment

Dimming lights, reducing noise, and playing soft music can help your baby (and you) relax. 

Offer a feed 

If your little one hasn’t fed well in the last 1-2 hours, try giving a feed to see if that helps. Newborns might need to feed every 1.5-3 hours, while older babies may go a little longer between feeds. 

Check their nappy 

See if baby's nappy needs changing. A wet or dirty nappy can be uncomfortable and make them cry. 

Swaddle them 

Wrapping your baby snugly in a small sheet or muslin wrap can help them feel secure and calm their cries. Swaddling can be extra soothing for newborns who are used to being in the womb.  

Hold them upright

Sometimes, young babies might find it hard to bring up wind or pass gas, holding them upright while gently rubbing their back might support them to move the wind.

Give a cuddle 

Holding your baby close and giving gentle cuddles can be comforting. Skin-to-skin contact, where you hold your baby so their bare chest is against your bare chest, can be especially soothing. 

Gentle Rocking, swaying, or walking 

Very gentle motion can help settle a crying baby. Try gently rocking your little one in your arms, swaying side to side, or walking around the room while holding them. 

Use White Noise or Soft Music 

Playing quiet, white noise or soft, calming music might help your baby relax. white noise can mimic the sounds baby heard in the womb, and gentle music can be part of a comforting bedtime routine. 

Offer a Dummy 

Giving baby a dummy can satisfy their need to suck and calm their cries. If you're breastfeeding, wait until feeding is going well before introducing a dummy. It’s important to ensure baby is not hungry before offering a dummy. If your baby hasn't used a dummy before, talk with a health professional who can share information about the use of dummies, as well as the benefits and risks.

Try a Bath 

A bath can be relaxing for some babies and help soothe their cries. The water and gentle touch can be comforting, especially as part of a bedtime wind-down. 

Give a Massage 

Gently massaging your baby's back, tummy, or legs can be soothing. You can use baby-safe lotion or oil to make the massage feel extra calming. Try softly talking or singing to your little one as you massage. 

Plan for the possible crying periods

If your baby cries at a similar time each day, try to reduce your tasks during this time. Consider having a rest to prepare yourself for the possible crying time.

Go for a Walk or Drive 

The motion of a pram or car can sometimes lull a crying baby to sleep. Try taking your baby for a walk in the pram or a ride in the car to see if the movement helps settle them. 

If nothing is working

If you have tried all these tips and your baby is still upset, pop them in a sling, pouch, or pram and go for a walk. Getting some fresh air will soothe your baby and help you feel better too.  

It’s important to choose a baby sling or pouch (baby carrier) that meets the Australian Safety Standards. A safe baby sling or pouch is:  

• Snug: The sling or pouch should be snug which is not too tight, not too loose, with your baby positioned high and upright. Any loose fabric may cause your baby to slump, which can affect their breathing and head support. They may even fall out! 
• In view at all times: You should be able to always see your baby’s face, just by looking down. Ensure your baby’s face, nose and mouth remain uncovered by the sling, wraps or blankets and your body.
• Close enough to kiss: Your baby should be so close to your chin that you can easily kiss their head by tipping forward.   
• Keep chin off chest: Ensure your baby’s chin is up and away from their body. Your baby should never be curled so their chin is forced onto their chest.
• Supported back: Your baby’s back should be supported in a natural position, with their tummy and chest against you. When bending over, support your baby with one hand behind their back. Remember to bend at the knees, not the waist. 

For more information on baby sling safety visit this link.

Caring for a crying baby for any length of time can be hard. If you’re feeling upset, frustrated, the best thing you can do is take a break. If possible, get someone to take over. If not, place your baby in a safe place, like a cot with the sides up, leave the room and take some deep breaths to relax and plan what you might try next. A one-to-two-minute break can make a big difference. 

Safety Alert: No matter how frustrated or upset you may become, it is highly dangerous to shake your baby. Baby’s head is big and heavy compared to their body, and their neck muscles aren’t strong enough to support it.  

Shaking your baby causes tiny blood vessels in the brain to bleed, which can cause blindness, brain damage and/or death. Any degree of shaking is dangerous and should be avoided. For further explanation on the dangers of baby shaking, see the following video.

When to get help

Please seek support from your Child and Family Health Professional, Paediatrician or GP if:

• You need reassurance that there is no medical cause for your baby’s crying.
• Your baby is having less than half their normal feeds, or is refusing to feed for more than 2 normal feed times,
• Your baby does not settle or cries for a long time (more than 3 hours), no matter what you do,
• You feel you are not coping
• You feel that your baby’s crying is impacting your relationship with them or you are finding it hard to feel positive about your baby
• Your mental health or your relationship with your partner is being affected

If you're ever worried about your baby's crying, trust your gut and talk to your doctor or child health professional. It's always better to be safe and get your baby checked out than to ignore a possible problem.

Managing your feelings when supporting your child/baby

Remember to take care of yourself too. Caring for a crying baby can be tiring, so look after yourself when you can. That might mean:

• Taking breaks when possible – share the load with a partner, family member or close friend,
• Asking for help - this could be asking someone to support you with chores, like folding a basket of washing, or cooking a meal for your family
• Making time for self-care - like exercise, meditation, or hobbies you enjoy. This can even be as simple as having a cup of tea in the sun or having a shower.

The Bottom Line

All babies cry sometimes - it's a normal part of being a baby. While dealing with a crying baby can be hard and tiring, understanding why they're upset and having access to soothing strategies can make a big difference. 

Trust your instincts and reach out for support from loved ones,  your healthcare professional, or the Karitane Careline - 1300 227 464 , we’re here for when you need it.  

With patience, love, and lots of cuddles, you've got this!