I fell pregnant with my first at 16, and my family were not supportive in the least and made it very known they wanted me to have an abortion. So much so that when I refused, my mother said you can’t live here anymore. My relationship with my daughter’s father was unhealthy and abusive, and looking back I can see that my outcomes did not look good statistically. I was told my life was over, I was just a dole bludger and I wouldn’t achieve much. I didn’t have a chance to enjoy or celebrate my pregnancy at all because “teen pregnancy isn’t something to celebrate,” and therefore I became increasingly isolated from family in particular. After all, babies shouldn’t have babies, right?
When I first engaged with Karitane through the young parent program, I was 22 and pregnant with my second child. I had limited work experience and had not completed any formal education since year 10 in high school. I honestly gave in to what people were telling me my life would be. I was in an unhealthy relationship even though I couldn’t see it at the time, and justified it as it wasn’t physically abusive. I thought this would be as good as I could get, even though I had always wanted more for myself and to be able to provide a comfortable life for my children. I remember the first conversation I had with the young parent case worker at Karitane, and their response when finding out how young I was when falling pregnant, was “Wow that must have been so hard”. I was completely taken aback because it was the first time anyone had ever acknowledged how hard it was on me. Up until then, falling pregnant was my fault and something I had to deal with.
During my time with Karitane, I have undergone an incredible amount of personal challenges, developed postnatal depression, discovered my son has ASD level 3, fought to get my daughter’s challenging behaviours taken seriously, left my unhealthy relationship and learnt how to co-parent, been through COVID-19 lockdown and incredible isolation, experienced a late miscarriage and that’s just what I’m willing to share. I have consistently fought my way up from rock bottom only to be kicked back down again and again. But with the support provided to me during my time with Karitane, I am proud to say I received professional help for my postnatal depression, my children got the much-needed support from the Karitane Toddler Clinic. Karitane helped in getting my son diagnosed as early as possible, and I had access to parenting education, which helped me develop more of a bond with my daughter and support with managing her challenging behaviours.
Having Karitane gave me the confidence to keep trying with my education, even after all of the setbacks that life had brought. As a result, I completed my Diploma of Community services (Case Management) and am currently in my third year of university to complete my human services degree. I realised my worth and what I am capable of. Because of this service, I am able to recognise that just because I had my children young, my life isn’t over like everyone had told me it was. I am not a disappointment. I am not a waste of potential, and I didn’t deserve the judgement and harsh words that I was dealt. I am not just a statistic, and I proved every single person wrong. With the help of this service, I am a good mother, I am resilient, I am educated. I would not be the woman I am today without the support of Karitane.
As for now and my future, I am in a stable and healthy relationship, my children are happy with support in place, and it finally feels like things have stopped spinning. I am continuing my university degree in human services — something I could only have dreamed of six years ago. I hope I can continue to be the mum my kids need, and that one day they will see everything I have overcome and achieved and be proud of me. That would be the ultimate reward. As much as I have worked hard for this and pulled myself up, I owe my success to the team at Karitane. Without their belief in me, I never would have thought this was possible. I cannot thank you enough for giving me my future back.
