Toilet Training

Overview

The time has come for your toddler to learn how to go to the toilet or potty! Toileting your toddler may take time and patience. This is a developmental step and will happen when they are ready. A child is considered to be toilet trained when they initiate going to the toilet and can manage to adjust clothing before and after toilet use without soling or wetting their clothes or their surroundings. 

Karitane respects each family has their own culture and parenting practices. This guide is an evidence- based resource you may choose to use for understanding how to support your child through this developmental stage.

When is toilet training possible?

• Around 2 years of age, your toddler’s development for bladder and bowel control starts to appear, however, this can vary from child to child.
• If your toddler has developed voluntary control of the muscles that control the bladder (urethral sphincter) and the bowel (anal sphincter), then training will be possible.
• It is not uncommon for your child to not have full control at night and may have some accidents some days, this is typical until around 5-7 years old.

Karitane Tip:
Some young children may be busy with activities, and not notice their need to use the bathroom – even if they’re developmentally ready and capable. You may need to gently remind them to use the potty throughout the day.

Signs of Readiness

As toilet training is a developmental stage, it is helpful to look for your child’s ability to manage the following points.  It is helpful to note that a child’s signs of readiness include a combination of physical, developmental, and behavioural signs rather than just their age. 

• By 18-24 months toddlers are usually able to verbally tell you whether they have passed urine or opened their bowels (have done a wee or a poo) 
• They are able to manage their clothing (pull pants down and up as needed) 
• They may show interest in other people going to the toilet and what the ‘potty’ is for.
• You may notice them start to wiggle around, or touch their body parts, and have trouble concentrating on the task they are doing, indicating they want to wee or poo. 
• They are able to stay dry after a day nap. 
• Commonly from around 2 to 3 years of age, your child is aware of the need to go to the toilet and will say they need to do a poo or wee before it has happened.  
• By 4 years of age, most young children can go to the toilet by themselves.

Getting Started

There are several options for getting started. Your toddler will probably let you know which one they prefer. 

• Decide on the words your family will use for bodily fluids and using them consistently makes it easier for your child to recognise the words. Using actual names of body parts is recommended. 
• Purchasing a potty, as usually a potty is easier for toddlers to use when starting off, as their feet can be more secure on the floor. Your child can help pick the potty, and decorate it. This, may help them take ownership of their own potty.
• Teach your child about the potty by practising how to get on and off fully dressed. You could try reading a book to them while they are sitting on the potty to keep them sitting for a few minutes. This is practice before they actually start their toilet training. Use positive praise if they sit on the potty, even if they don’t do anything. 
• You can help your child learn by placing the soiled nappy in the potty then disposing it, this may help them start to make the connections for the use of the potty.
• If they are comfortable sitting on the potty try it with pants down, encouraging a surprise ‘wee’ or seeing if they can do a wee in the potty like mummy or daddy. 
• When you can notice your child showing signs of needing to go to the toilet, it can be helpful to take them to the potty and try and see if a wee or poo happens. 
• Keep the potty clean, some children don’t like using already used potty’s or unflushed toilets. 

Encouraging Good Practices

Toileting is a new skill that toddlers are learning. Learning new skills and changing to a new way of doing things can be tricky and can take time. Staying positive, calm, and responsive to your child’s needs can make it easier. 

• It is helpful to consider ‘when is the best time to start toilet training’ by paying attention to what else is happening for the child that may add to their emotional pressure or stress. This may include things like adjusting to the arrival of a sibling, moving to a new home, change in school or carers, or if they are unwell. If there are changes happening, it can be helpful to wait a few weeks, until things settle down before trying again. 
• Dress your child in clothes that can be easily removed as buttons and zippers can be hard when you are in a hurry!
• If your child does not want to sit on the toilet, that’s ok, try another time shortly after. Reassure them it’s OK.
• Try to avoid over-reminding your child to go to the potty, they are still learning, and it will take time. 
• Look for signs they may want to go to the toilet and support them to try
• If an accident occurs, clean it up with as little fuss as possible, even consider asking them to help clean it up. 
• Offer quiet enthusiasm, and specific praise for their efforts, such as trying to get to the potty on time. Saying things like: “good trying”, as they attempt to get their pants down. Or, “You tried hard to get your pants down” or “aren’t you clever, you got your pants down in time”. If they do a poo or a wee, “ooh look at that you did a wee in the potty” (with a smile, soft clap for example) 
• Good hygiene like washing hands after using the toilet will help them learn good habits, they may need reminders and a little help with hand washing.
• Ensure a healthy diet full of dietary fibre and water for drinks. 
• Support your child with any fears or worries they show when learning toileting behaviours. It is a new set of skills to learn, and change can be stressful and scary. Observe and be responsive- they may need gentle encouragement and adjustments to how you go about helping them, as they progress through this developmental milestone.  
• Expect accidents in the early weeks or months before they master this task. 
• It may take approximately 6 months for daytime urinary continence and around 6-7 months for stool continence to be fully toilet trained.
• If there is too much pressure or stress, or they feel shamed, it can make success much harder to achieve and it may take longer for them to fully develop the task of toileting effectively. You may need to stop for 2 to 3 months, then try again taking a gentler approach.
• Nighttime and nap training can take some time, and it might be helpful to start when your child is consistently dry during the day. Full nighttime bladder control may not happen for some children until 5-7 years old.
• Once your child is comfortable with using the potty, they may be ready to transition to a regular toilet with an over-the-toilet seat and step stool.  Some young children like to go straight to the ‘big toilet’ but may need a step stool to reach the toilet easily. 

Tips for Successful Toilet Training

1. Create a Routine: Start by encouraging your child sit on the potty at regular times, such as after meals or when they wake up. This routine helps them get used to the process.
2. Positive Reinforcement: Encourage your child with praise and, if you like, small rewards. Celebrate their progress to build confidence but be patient with setbacks as they’re normal parts of the process.
3. Use the Right Equipment: Make sure the toilet or potty seat is comfortable and safe. Some children prefer a child-sized potty, while others are happy with a child’s seat on the regular toilet with a step stool.
4. Dress for Success: Use clothes that are easy for your child to pull up and down on their own. Avoid overalls, belts, or other tricky clothing during this period.
5. Encourage Communication: Help your child learn words like “potty,” “pee,” and “poop” so they can express their needs more clearly. Teaching them these words can reduce confusion and encourage them to tell you when they need to go.
6. Be Patient and Consistent: Accidents are part of the process, so remain calm and consistent. Gently remind your child that accidents happen and continue to encourage them.

Toileting Fears

It is not uncommon for toddlers to fear using or sitting on the toilet. A few common phobias include:

• Fear of getting into trouble
• Continued pressure from caregivers
• Fear of hard, painful stools/constipation
• Fear of falling into the toilet
• Fear of being flushed away
• Fear of opening bowels on the toilet
• Fear of losing part of the body
• Fear of toilet size
• Fear of being too late to the toilet

Karitane Tip:
As a general rule, your toddler will likely outgrow these fears with calm and encouraging support. Sometimes you may need to wait several weeks or months – and that’s OK.

Getting Out and About While Toilet Training

It’s best to try and stay home for a few days, but you will eventually need to leave the house. Here are our tips to make it as simple as possible:

Plan Ahead:

• Before leaving, offer your child the opportunity to use the potty. Try to give them a little extra time and encouragement to avoid needing a stop right away.
• Bring a portable potty or a travel seat that attaches to public toilets, which can make bathroom breaks easier and familiar for your child.

Pack Essentials:

• Carry a bag with extra clothes, wipes, and a few disposable or waterproof bags for any accidents. Consider packing a towel or a seat protector for car rides.

Familiarise Your Child with Public Bathrooms:

• If it’s their first time using a public bathroom, take a moment to explain how it might look and sound different. Encourage them by making it part of the adventure!

Dress for Success:

• Choose clothing that’s easy to remove, such as elastic-waist pants, so they can go as soon as they need to. This minimises stress, especially in unfamiliar settings.

Take Frequent Potty Breaks:

• Schedule regular stops if you’re out for a longer period, every 30-60 minutes, depending on your child’s needs. Remind them that it’s okay to ask when they need to go.

Offer Encouragement and Stay Positive:

• Praise your child for their efforts, whether they use the potty or just try. Positive reinforcement builds confidence and makes the process feel less stressful.